Going with the flow

As I get older every year,my families love for me fades. I have never asked for much, I pay my own phone bills, I pay for my own gas, and I also pay for my own expenses. Never in the recent years have I asked for anything. At all. But today is my birthday, and I’m in debt with my girlfriend and some friends, I ask for some gas money because I haven’t had any cash for the past week. And what reply do I get? 

"You have a job, you don’t have any money? Are you kidding us?"

I understand I’m an adult and all, but I thought when you love someone, at least give that person a little something once in awhile. I haven’t had health insurance because you lazy fucks don’t do anything about it, when I clearly asked for help months ago. I haven’t been able to obtain financial aid because you fucks don’t even give in any effort. 

I’m sorry for all the ranting, but my fucking renter seems to be treated better than I am. If I wanted to pay to live in my home, I might as well move into a cheap apartment. 

I’m not aiming this all at you, dad. I’m also aiming at that bitch who claims to be my mom. The one thing that I remember her calling me was that I failed my classes in Junior and Senior year because I was “stupid”. And yeah, I agree, I’m stupid. I’m not the smartest, and I’m not the best. But from you telling me that, what does that make you? The smartest woman in town huh? HAHA I laugh at that. You’re the most idiotic, most horrific living organism ever to have been born on this planet. She’s money crazy when she doesn’t even get money herself. 


All I’m saying is that I don’t need any of your help anymore. Never will I again ask for your stupid aid. Don’t expect me to help you when I become successful, because when you guys ask for MY HELP, I’ll be sure to answer back with ” you guys have a retirement fund, use it.”

Now for all of you reading this, I don’t care what you have to say. This is my Tumblr and my rant. I may not mean most of what I type here, but I just want to let it go out of my system. 

You really want me to drop out of school don’t you?
Five O’clock in the morning.
If you love her, let her go.

If she comes back, she is yours to keep. 

The more I think about you

The more and more I miss you..

I went through a lot of old pictures

pictures of the times before and I remember everything so vivid…so vivid that it actually hurts me to no extent…

I remember all the times I’ve failed, and I remember all the people that I “loved”. Why is it that all I can think of now is the negatives? Where in my mind would there be anything that gives me joy anymore?

I remember hurting “her” 

I remember hurting “them”

I remember hurting “us” 

I remember all these feelings, the regrets, the pain. 

I remember wasting my time on you.

I remember wasting my money on you


I’m tired of living the life of memories. 

I just want to remember 


Pretty much irritated lol…

I’m not staying inside my room because I’m lazy.

I’m staying away from the outside because I’m annoyed. BY EVERYTHING.

It took me awhile to recognize what was wrong…

but all along it was my fault you’re acting this way.

I’m sincerely sorry :(

I know I messed up… But I’m doing my best to fix things.